It is hard to see someone we care about struggle with hardship, illness or injury. Mental health can be even more challenging because it isn’t as concrete as a broken bone. Also, it isn’t something that can be shown on a machine or test like High Blood Pressure or Diabetes. However, just like those medical conditions, Depression is a disease and can be serious if left untreated.
If you haven’t struggled with depression in your lifetime, it can also be difficult to understand. You want to help your loved one, but you don’t know how. Maybe you have tried a few things, but you’re not sure if it helped. Sometimes you wonder if you shouldn’t do anything for fear of making it worse.
Here are some tips to help a loved one struggling with depression:
1. When your loved one tells you they can’t “just be happy”, believe them. Depression is treatable but it doesn’t happen overnight. I have had many clients say to me “I don’t understand why I can’t make myself happy” or “My family doesn’t understand why I can’t just be happy.” For many people, their depression is connected to their brain chemistry.
Depression can feel like being surrounded by dirty, murky windows. You look out and no matter where you look, it seems darker, more gray and more sad. It can change your perspective and result in feeling hopeless and helpless. So, having someone you care about suggest that ‘trying harder’ will ‘fix it’, can be confusing and very disheartening. Depression treatment often involves consistent behavioral changes, and sometimes medication.
2. Gently encourage them to reconnect with life. Depression can cause people to isolate, which can also lead to isolating more. However, lack of energy, fatigue and lack of motivation are also symptoms of depression. This can make being more social or interactive difficult.
So, ask them to go to a movie, out to dinner or hang out to play cards or a board game. If they don’t want to, compromise on something they want to do. Any small step forward is progress. For example, if they don’t want to go to a movie in a movie theater, stay in and watch a movie on dvd or streaming instead.
3. Support your loved one with being more active. Exercise is wonderful for the body and mind. It increases circulation which leads to more oxygen and endorphins. This is invigorating to the brain. Yet depression can make it difficult to even get out of bed. So, support them by participating in being more active with them. You can take a walk, go to the park, play a sport (basketball, soccer), take a swim or go to the gym. Doing it together is more motivating and a great way to connect emotionally. Activity with a buddy or in a group is always easier and more fun!
4. Be an advocate for their self-care. Many people don’t take care of themselves because their needs are always at the bottom of the list. However, taking care of ourselves is how our body repairs itself so we can be 100% for our self and others. So, advocate for them to get more sleep, drink enough water, eat fruits and vegetables regularly and build soothing activities into their day (reading, listening to music, taking a hot bath, meditation, etc).
5. Support them in seeking mental health treatment. Depression can be a serious condition. There is still a stigma associated with mental health. Unfortunately, much too often this still results in people not getting the help that they need because they are worried about what other’s may think. If someone you love is struggling with depressive symptoms, you can help them see that it is ok to see a depression therapist. Depression is treatable and they don’t have to struggle when help is available. Help them see that it is ok to work with a therapist to help resolve their depression symptoms so they can enjoy their life.
Are you or is someone you know interested in depression treatment?
If you would like additional information on treatment for depression, call or contact me for a free consultation or to schedule an appointment.
To find out more about my services, click here: Depression Treatment