Between the holiday shopping ads, commercials and holiday themed Hallmark movies, we can easily be fooled to think that the holiday season is only filled with fun, laughter and joy. Unfortunately, for many people this time is also filled with anxiety, stress and worry.
The holiday season can accompany large expectations and feelings of needing everything to “be perfect.” This is a large level to achieve and this can loom above us, increasing our anxiety level and resulting in us not enjoying the joyous season at all.
Here are some tips to decrease your anxiety during the holiday season:
1. Decrease social media use. Social Media apps are often filled with pictures of everyone’s ‘perfect’ photo vs what their reality may actually look like. Just because “that friend” posted a picture of those fantastic Christmas cookies, doesn’t mean that she didn’t burn the first batch. There isn’t anything wrong with posting the good ones, or not posting the bad ones. That is what we do. However, it is important to remember that what we see on social media may not be reality. Therefore, not using it to create our expectations for ourselves.
2. Don’t expect perfectionism. During the holiday season it is easy to create goals for what we want our holiday to look like and “want everything to be perfect”. That is a lot of pressure to put on yourself and could result in you not enjoying the holiday at all. People often plan gatherings with loved ones but get caught up in the details, forgetting the whole purpose is to spend time together. Is anyone really going to notice (or care) that you didn’t get those exact centerpieces or decorations for which you were searching? On the other hand, they probably will notice if you are gone half the time running around the kitchen or kicking yourself during dinner because your dessert didn’t turn out “just right”. In fact, I have great memories that were created solely based on someone forgetting to defrost the turkey or someone burning something and setting off the smoke alarm! The part that makes those memories special is the people that were part of my life during that event.
3. Don’t spend more than you can handle. The holiday months are an extremely easy time to spend more than you planned or more than you should. This results in either carrying unexpected debt into the new year or struggling with paying bills. Financial worries are one of the top things that people worry about after the holidays are over. This leads to excessive worry overall and increased anxiety.
Two ways to avoid this: put a little money away each month (even $10 or $20) which adds up by the end of the year to help with food, decorations or presents. Otherwise, create a budget for what you can/should spend and a plan for how you are going to stay within that limit.
Other ideas on how to save money through the holidays: have a potluck holiday meal where everyone brings their favorite holiday dish, set up a gift exchange or create a present spending limit for those we tend to go overboard on. Another idea is to make homemade presents! One of the best gifts I ever received was a mason jar with the ingredients inside to make a batch of cookies and their family recipe for the cookies that I had commented on really enjoying. It meant a great deal to me that she took the time to make it and the love attached to sharing one of her treasure family recipes with me.
4. Be careful to manage your family related stressors. We may love our loved ones, but that doesn’t mean that we aren’t going to have conflict with them. What’s that saying? ‘I may love them but that doesn’t mean I have to like them.’
If you are planning a holiday dinner (or family activities) and know that ‘this person can be by this person’ or ‘if this person comes..’, that can cause a lot of anxiety. Other than changing plans not include certain people, which may cause more anxiety, the best way to handle a situation like this is with increased awareness. Instead of picking where people sit, maybe leaving it open and those that don’t get along can stay on opposite ends. Another idea is to either sit down individually with those you are concerned about and strategize how to make it an enjoyable time for everyone.
5. Don’t forget to practice self-care. Unfortunately, often when we are faced with a stressor that causes increased anxiety or excessive worry, self-care is the first thing that goes out the window. The problem with that is self-care is often the best thing to keep us regulated. Sleep helps the body heal and process the information from that day so we wake up feeling ready for the day. Regular exercise can help get out extra energy, anxiety or feelings of restlessness. Calming quiet activities like breathing, meditation, reading, listening to music, spa activities (etc) can help you feel centered, calm and whole. Don’t forget that if you don’t take care of you, you can’t take care of others.
I hope that these tips help you enjoy your holiday season a little bit more. If you are interested in seeing an anxiety therapist or would like additional information on anxiety treatment, call or contact me for a free consultation or to schedule an appointment.
To find out more about my services, click here: Anxiety Treatment